im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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