just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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