But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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