So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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