i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
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