Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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