Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
