I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
