Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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