So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
