This girl is more easily done than said...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
