My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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