oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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