actually, I'm a sock model
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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