That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How does one acquire holy water?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
