Say something about gay babies.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
