Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
