What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
