If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
