singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
