Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
