Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
