Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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