And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
