I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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