i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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