I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
