I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
