I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
