you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
