I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
