we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
