At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
