Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
