so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
