Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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