I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
