we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
