Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
