I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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