I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize