I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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