This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
