The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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