On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
