so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Mom said you looked used
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
