You're so nebulous sometimes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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