i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
