I wanna bring you to show and tell
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
