My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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