well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So vagazzling was a success
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