I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
