Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
