I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
